Back to School Week and a New Goal for me !

Last week all the kids went back to school.

Sad to see summer go! It's my fav. Really it is.

BUT

I have to admit I have liked some of the changes. 

There are moments when I can hear my own thoughts. 

And when I wipe down the counter it stays clean till 2:30.

Some changes are still not my favorite.

Hearing myself say  . . . . 

"Do you have homework done?"

"Hang up your back pack."

"Do not wear those expensive socks outside without shoes. Seriously!"

"Have you done your reading?"

"We have to get to bed."

"You have to get up."

"You have ten minutes till you gotta leave. Brush your teeth, finish eating, comb your hair, use deodorant and have a great day."

Gotta love the new lingo that comes with back to school. 

7th, 4th, 4th, and 2nd !

It's gonna be a good year.

Here's to knowledge!!

Ian went a day early so this is day 2 for him! (hence the different clothes from his first picture)

And my favorite back to school pic always --- the new shoes pic !!
Or maybe they are inspecting the crack! ha.

Back to School always seems to be a time to set new goals. 

The kids have new goals . . . read so many minutes, get homework done before xyz, etc. etc.

Well, this school year I have a new goal.

MORE FAMILY MEALS around the table.

For the first time in our families history, last year was a FAIL on this one.

I chalk it up to new schedules, new sports leagues, a new schedule for dad, a tired momma juggling several new things and just needing nights "off" when it was just us.

It's not that we didn't ever do it but it just wasn't as often as I'd like or as much as we had in the past.

Don't get me wrong, we gather around the table. We gather around food.

We gather with friends and neighbors all the time. 

My kids see our table as a place to invite people too.

They've seen and experienced a FULL table.

We've used our extra chairs and extended our table more this year than in years past 

and it's been beautiful.

I believe in the gathering places.

I strongly believe in inviting people to gather with you. 

So since we have the "invite" part down; this year on nights when it's just our family of six, my goal is to make it a priority to have the table be a place again for our family of six.

Family Dinners is just one aspect of gathering. 

And a little side fact is that current research is showing kids who had regular family meals together do better in college. (said a source I trust who read it in a book I haven't read yet - how do you like that for an accurate statistic - ha) I do however, believe it! 

I've recognized the challenges with this new season of my kids ages and activities.

I don't think you realize the struggle it is to keep the family meal going until you hit a certain "season" in life. Last year we hit that season. 

I've acknowledged the obstacles and I'm not at over achiever, my goal is not to 

make this happen every night.   Three or Four nights a week is my goal. 

Some of you are like . . only three or four nights?? Shoot for more!

We have at least two nights a week we gather around a table in "community" and kids eat and play and run off. They are observing gathering and community in another form that is so important. 

This leaves us with one or two other nights to just eat on the go and be laid back and eat once we all come in from a night of playing or again gather in other forms with friends.

I'm one to buck anything that takes on a legalistic form. 

So there is flex in all things for me.

I've never been a lunch person. 

So lunch isn't when we gather.

Yes, if we are all here at the same time I put stuff out and we all grab it and head to the table or counter to eat together but lunch is not my thing. If it was all up to me we'd all eat a good breakfast and as you need lunch in the day you'd get it yourself and then we'd all gather for dinner at the end of the day.  

One it's to expensive and time consuming to create three full sit down meals a day. 

Just. Can't. Do. It.

And breakfasts in this house is a "chaotic form of gathering".

We eat as we are all ready for school. We are all together but all doing what we need to do. 

With six people in the house we all function at different speeds in the am. 

I do however, love how, for the most part, we are all together in the am.

Some days many are eating together at the same time.

On most days, when a majority are present, I read a quick word of encouragement to the kids.

And usually one morning each weekend is a bigger breakfast time as a family with Dad cooking something yummy.

So dinner (the evening meal) is the goal this year!! 

Here's three things I've decided.

1.  If 4 or 5 of us are here, then 4 or 5 of us are here. 

2. The time may change daily. 

3.  It doesn't have to be fancy.

So far last week we nailed it and this week we are on track! 

I love the talks that come around the table. 

We do the "Boom and Bust" thing. They've always liked this regardless of age.

Your BOOM is something that was awesome in your day.

Your BUST is something that didn't go so well or that you didn't like. 

For years we did the chat packs for kids -- those are so great to ignite discussion. 

May have to pull those back out - my kids loved them.

As my kids grow up and move away I want them to look back and remember our solid wood table as a place we came together, laughed, shared our booms and busts of life and invited others too. I want it to  be a place they will keep coming back too and will be a place where they will invite others to join them at "their tables" to gather. 

Here's to a year of gathering around the table with my family!

Tonight we'll be gathering and I have no idea what we will be eating - we ate two great meals the last two nights and so I"m already out of ideas (ha) but food or no food we will be gathering. 

Reveal

I'm blogging very little this summer.
Not by plan or intent.
There's been plenty of things I've thought "I should blog that" but then it doesn't happen and we are on to the next thing or next thought.

Right now I'm sitting outside on a cool evening as the moon is coming up and the first fireflies are appearing.
My bambinos are on the trampoline thinking they are going to sleep there.
One night this summer we will but not tonight.
We spent the majority of the day with some Utah friends.
It was so good to have them here.
We drove them around our town and as we did I told my friend it was strange to have her here.
Two worlds colliding.
I'm dragging out the process where we wrap up the day.
We will eventually do it and tonight I think I'll walk past the messes and head to bed early.
Maybe grab a book on my way.
It's one of those nights.
Tired body.
Full heart and head.

I read something yesterday morning from The Message Bible; it's sticking in my mind.
Matthew 6:6, 9 & 10

"Here's what I want you to do: find a quiet, secluded place so you won't be tempted to role play before God. Just be there simply and honestly as you can manage. The focus will shift from you, to God, and you will begin to sense his grace."

"Our Father in heaven

Reveal who you are.

Set the world right; 

Do what's best-  as above, so below"

It's my prayer tonight.
God Reveal who you are to me and set the world right. May my focus be on you instead of me.

Amen and Goodnight.

Five Things

I pictured an end of the year post with Christmas pictures.
I pictured a beginning of the year post kickin off the New Year.
Nope.
Just didn't happen - maybe I'll throw some pics on here soon of the holiday shin digs - it was all good.
This is what you get instead.

Five things I've Got on my Mind

(It's really a miracle I was able to narrow down to 5 - my mind is like a hamster 

wheel - it's always turning)

Thing One:
Is it possible to get "caught up" on laundry if we are all wearing clothes?

Thing Two:
Dear Weight Watchers,
Here we go on round two. You were so good to me the first round, back in the year after having the twins. Can you help me this time? I hope so. Paired with Jazzercise I think you will work your magic.
Only time will tell.

(Speaking of Jazzercise, if you live near a center they are having their annual sale this weekend through Monday; and it's a good one. No joining fee and January free. If you live in this area mention my name when you sign up and I get money off my monthly fee.)

Thing Three:
How can I prepare for Seminary Semester number 100 (not really) to start up again next week?
People I'm  - - -  not - - -  ready.

Thing Four:
The girl has put on close to 12 outfits today. I have had to work extra hard at keeping a straight face because these outfits are serious to her. Some actually have some great style. Currently she is in ballet shoes, black tights, the white flower girl dress she wore in a wedding last spring with a cute little blue headband in her hair and necklace around her neck. Earlier while her boy cousin was here I over heard this conversation:
Him:  Tatum do you want to watch something?
Her:   Yeah and we can get all dressed up right?
Him:   Silence
They watched tv with him in his normal clothes and her in a cowgirl hat, tights, a skirt, a pink fancy glove and she was holding her wallet and purse.
I wish my day could consist of such frivolous fun!
Maybe one night I should get decked out to watch tv with Jason. :))

Thing Five:
I'm just about done reading this new book and it's caused my mind (which was already spinning is so many of these areas) to spin like the Tilt a Whirl at the county fair . . . .

The author is our speaker for the women's retreat in March.
I got an email from her that she sent to close friends and ministry contacts (let's pretend I was in the first group - ha) with a online copy of the book asking if I'd read it and post reviews on amazon etc.
You don't have to ask me twice.
I had just gotten the book for Christmas.
I'll be posting on it real soon but it's an amazing book,
Challenging? yes!
Thought provoking? yes!
Authentic? Oh yes!
Watch for my post it will for sure include a give away!!!

Have a Happy Happy Weekend whatever you do.

Voting, and Random Life Stuff

The voting date for this event 

has changed.
It starts THIS THURSDAY.
I'll remind you Thursday to go vote for us.
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Are you done Christmas shopping yet?
I haven't even started.
Not ONE thing.
Not ONE.
I'm not worried; it will get done.

It seems like every year I list some places or ideas for Christmas giving on my blog.
This year one of the blogs I follow; Dreaming Big Dream,  has some great ideas for Christmas giving.
Check out all the links; they are all gifts that will also benefit someone that is in real need.

=====
I maybe haven't Christmas shopped but I have been working out again.
I got a good butt chewing motivational speech from a dear friend.
I needed it.
Adding a part time job to my life, on top of so many other big things in our life and exercise just took a serious back seat.
It's back where it needs to be.
Sadly I'm in the "redoing all the hard work I already had done" phase again.
Uhhhh.
Oh well.
I cried about it and now it's time to do something about it.
Thanks friend, you know who you are.
I love you; you can motivate me anytime.

=====

Tonight at dinner I laughed so hard.
Those of you that know me can probably almost hear the laugh.
It's more of a cackle wouldn't you say?

Anyways, the conversation revolved around farting.
One boy said, "Did you know that some people don't know girls fart?"
He was appalled at this.
I'll just stop with the rest of that conversation but the whole thing was hilarious because it was a serious conversation going on, plus the cackling by me.
Then the conversation switched and one boy said, "Did you know some girls say it's a law, a LAW, that boys can't hit girls?" (pause) "Those girls just say that because they don't want to get hurt."
(Just for the record we don't condone hitting girls.)

It was a good laugh.

=========
I wish I had pictures for you of something - anything really.
I just haven't been picking up my camera lately.
I have however been dreaming of a new camera - someday.
In 2012 I've gotta start snapping again.
It brings me J O Y!

Goodnight.

From my Heart

Journaling from my heart.
This morning I went to church with my kids while my man preached somewhere else.
I didn't go with a good heart.
I went with a tired heart, frustrated and just sick of some things.
I gave me kids some speeches on how to behave because I was tired and didn't want to deal with some of the things that can happen with kids in church.
Before church started a lady that had at least 3x the mothering years on me initiated a conversation.
Unbeknown to her she struck a cord in me - a mothering cord.
She struck a place that I've been wrestling with for awhile now.
Her words were few, but so challenging and really encouraging all at the same time.

Lately I've been feeling like my family is getting the left over part of me.
I give my patience to my preschoolers.
I give my passion for the hurting and those in need to my bible study group.
I give me compassionate words to any friend that needs to be encouraged.
I give my creativity to preschool and creating another great women's retreat.
And I give my mad organizational skills and attention to detail to everything I have my hand in.
But at home I'm impatient, my words are short and organization what?
I'm just tired.
I know God wants me to use my gifts and talents outside of my home - whether you work outside of the home or stay home full time your gifts/talents/love aren't just for the number of people in your family, however He also wants those gifts and talents to reach those within my walls.
I'm one of the primary people demonstrating those things to them.
I want my children to see the fruits of the spirit in ME.
Authenticity means everything to me.
If my children see me pouring life into other things or people yet don't see that within our home what does that teach?
The 12+ years of youth ministry that Jason and I participated in left me knowing one thing for sure . . . youth are onto their parents game when they act one way at home and another out and about.
That shapes their view of God, their view of living a life for God.
Now I'm one to take it to the extreme and I'm hardest on myself so I know that things aren't as bad as I'm painting the picture out to be.
Yes I've demonstrated extreme love to my children this week, yes I've used some of those great skills that I use outside of the home within my home so I'm not looking for a "you're a good mom speech", I'm just saying that in general I feel like everyone else is getting the best of me.
I'm just wrestling with the balance of a full life.
Anyone else?
I'm rereading a book on the Holy Spirit and I feel if there is any place in my life where I need to see the Holy Spirit's power revealed in me it's with my family.
I need patience, peace, kindness, goodness, self control, joy, gentleness, and love in my daily at home stuff.

I hope I didn't share too much or make some of you feel awkward.
I'm just saying how it is.
It's probably a safe bet to say that some of you are wrestling with how to balance a full life?
How to not give those I love the most my left overs?
I'm not really leaving you with answers, just thoughts.
Maybe these thoughts will stir up a conversation between yourself and God.

Let's wrap up this whole "journaling from my heart" post with something I did use my creativity for at home this week.
Actually today.
With several days of kids picking on each other and pestering each other I decided they needed to spend sometime together getting along doing something constructive.
So I gave them each a partner and a job they had to complete together.
If they completed the job without bossing each other, teasing each other, or just being rude to each other in general they would not be given another job.
If they did boss, tease, or be rude to one another while completing the job together they'd receive another job until they could do one together nicely.
Unfortunately  Fortunately they all accomplished this on the first try.
Now what do I do with that long list of jobs that still need to be done?

I guess I've save a little bit of creativity for my own family.
Now if I could work on saving some of those other skills. :))

Mine

This morning I REALLY feel like journaling but I don't know what to say.
I guess that's called writer's block.
Hm.
I've been thinking of this.
"You God, are my God." (Psalms 63:1)
There is a part of God I don't even have to share.
He's MY God.
This was a little side note snuck into one of the messages from the Beth Moore conference.
I tucked it away in me.
I like it.
I'm really close with my guy.
Like really close.
Can't think of what I don't share with him.
Things run really deep with us.
That's good - that's great.
But even in that relationship there is a part of God that is just for me.
As a mom of four it's a no brainer that I share most things.
I even share my new water bottle at times (though I try not too).
That's serious sharing for me.
I mean what mom doesn't feel like she's sharing every part of her with everyone on most days?
I'm refreshed to know that in all my closeness with my guy and my kids there is this unique place, a part of me, Nicole, that is just for me and God.
There's a part of me that God understands to a depth I can't even comprehend.
He understands what I'm experiencing even when I can't write it.
That's cool.

Hello Blog World

Hello Blog World.
It's been awhile.
I took a blog break - an unplanned blog break - my longest blog break to date.
I'd love to say I've just been busy.
I have.
Tball  - Field Days - Subbing - Sick Girly - Track Meet - And everything else normal moms of 4 do.
But this blog break has been somewhat of a unique thing for me.
I've struggled to know what to post and even as I'm typing am not sure I'll press "post".
Awhile back I was challenged by a speaker that said in our day of social media we many times take things in and pass it on before we receive it for ourselves, so to speak.
This speaker was not down on social media at all but the concept is true and in my life right now I've had to think about that.
I've been struggling.
Struggling with some emotions that many of you have probably experienced at one time or another.
Different circumstances but same emotions.
I'm not done learning all I have to learn or am on the other side yet of what I'm experiencing however I have been trying to "receive" it and process it for me first.
The emotions have be down, blue, depressed . . . whatever you want to call it.
We're processing a lot of things right now.
We've been on a journey for some time now and I think it's fair to say one can just flat out get tired.
Tired of unknowns.
Tired of decisions.
Tired.
You start to lose your fight.
I've been laughing that some people try to do one act of kindness a week or day but in this house we like to make one big decision a week.
Funny I know.
But it's so true.
It can get taxing.
Decision making takes so much energy.
It takes so much time - something we don't have a lot of these days.
One thing I know is that in the mist of what we feel when we are down God is working in us.
He trumps our feelings.
This has been a much better week.
Stuff still is swirling around me and I'm still tired but I feel some hope.
Hope that I'm moving in the opposing direction from where I feel I've been going.
Hope is good.
There is ALWAYS hope.
I have always valued authenticity - it's hard to be fake.
I guess this post, which in a way might leave me feeling exposed, is me being very authentic with you.
If you made it through this long post I'm hoping you aren't feeling down now too.
There's nothing worse than passing your negative emotions off onto someone else.
I just want to say that I know there are so many reasons that women get down.
Their are experiences that warrant stronger emotions than others; I've tried to keep that in focus.
I have girlfriends that have been fighting bigger fights and life altering fights for way to long.
It's good to always keep things in focus.
I don't know where each of you are at in life but if you are down don't keep it in - that's the worst.
Share with someone. Your man, a friend, family, a counselor.
Fill your mind with God's truth.
Exercise.
Get good sleep.
Take your vitamins.
Maybe you need more outside help.
Again, share with someone.
Remember I said this is a much better week.
Last week I probably would have left you feeling ready to just crawl back under the covers.
It's ok to do that every now and then but like my husband says, "If a season doesn't have an end it becomes a climate." (little food for thought)
Some of you sweet girls sent me some really nice emails. Thanks to each of you !!
Didn't mean to scare you with my lack of posts . . . our physical health / our marriage / all that jazz is  great!!!
Don't worry, I won't become the Debbie Downer Blog.
My next several posts will be full of pics of all those things I mentioned at the top of this post.

Relook

It's a quiet house here and I sat down to post some more pics of our trip and decided to write on
something else.
Boys are fast asleep.
My guy is deep in a seminary paper.
My girl had a late nap with a fever today so I'm sure she's still trying to fall asleep and just might come out and visit me soon.
I decided tonight I needed to list some things I'm thankful for.
I'm feeling unthankful.
Can I say that?
It's been windy and nothing irritates me more than a strong wind that just makes you feel like someone is pulling on you all day.
I'm just being honest.

I was looking for a picture to go with this post and this one just seemed to fit.
I have so much to be thankful for - that's not the problem.
Sometimes when we're tired and down or have a full head it's just easier to see the things we want to change or the things that we aren't completely happy with instead of all that is good in our lives.
So I'm going to relook at my day today and list 5 things I can marvel at and be thankful for.
1 I got to listen to Coleson read to me.  Nothing sweeter than hearing a kindergartner read and sound out words.

2 I'm thankful I got to hear these sweet words from Tatum tonight. "Daddy loves me so much. He cares for me. (giggle - pause) He doesn't worry about anything. He protects me. (giggle)" 

3  Grandmas rolls. We finished off a fresh bag of those in one quick meal! Yummy!

4  I got to read some of God's word with Ian tonight - just him and I.

5  I ate ice cream on the trampoline with my three boys.  We talked, ate and pretended it was summer.

I feel better already.  

After looking at my list is seems like it was a pretty good day!
What are you thankful for TODAY?

Country? or Neighborhood? That is the question.

Question: How is being a stay-at-home mom in the country? My hubs loves the country life... My fear is that if we live in the country and have little ones, I will feel isolated and lonely. Thoughts?

It really was ironic that you asked this question when you did. If you would have heard the conversations Jason and I had a couple weeks ago you would have laughed. I was feeling quit lonely on this ol country road and my advice would have been pretty negative.  

To be honest with you when you have little ones and choose to stay at home, regardless of where you live, I think the lonely feelings are inevitable. It's part of adjusting to life on the job with people to life home with little people.  I think stay at home moms have to be VERY intentional about warding off lonely feelings.  It's sort of hilarious when you think about it . . . you are NEVER alone when your kids are little so how can we feel lonely?  I think in those years you have to be intentional to plug into things in your area; whether that be a bible study, a play group, a MOPS group, a group at the library or something. You have to fight through the "getting out of the door" stress so that you can experience connecting with other moms who are in your shoes. In many ways you are finding or creating new "co-workers". It makes all the difference. Obviously, all of our personalities are different so we all need different amounts of "people time" but I think all of us need it to a certain extent.

 

To address the country versus neighborhood part of the question . . . let me say I have lived in three locations with my little kids. One was a neighborhood but we were the only ones with kids and the only ones outside. We played in our big backyard most of the time. Another was a neighborhood with 3.5 kids in every house and we were always outside connecting with families. Now we are in the country with neighbors 1/2 mile away. All had/have there pros and cons.  We have found that even in a neighborhood it is very rare to live on a street where people all interact and "play" together. We've experienced both. You might not have kids your kids age on your street - you don't always know those things when you buy a home.

I think there are pros and cons to country life when it comes to stay at home moms. 
I do think it can increase the chance of feeling isolated but it can also be a place that gives you the space to really create a great place to invite others over to join in on your days.  I think when it all comes down to it, people that want to build relationships will. You just have to be a little more proactive in it in the country.  I really miss being able to walk outside and connect instantly with moms or on a whim throw together lunch for whoever is around. I made it through many of the dreaded "before dinner hours" by visiting with other moms who were tired from the day and had cranky kids too. We'd just hang together outside until daddies started to drive up in the driveways and rescue us. :)) However, I think that is is very rare and not the norm for that to happen in neighborhoods.  Neighborhoods can be extremely lonely too. You see people but you don't "know" them. Or you do get to know them and you really don't connect but you have no choice not to be around them. A pro to country life is you typically have the space to do some really fun things.  Include others when you do those fun things and you'll feel like you are living in a neighborhood.  I think the job of your husband can play a role in all this too - does he work weekends? late nights? etc.  There really are pros and cons to both locations.

I think if I could create the perfect place, I'd live in between. I'd have a house with a little more property to give us the space but would have a cluster of homes all around that too. Close enough so we could all BBQ and run in and out of houses but not so close that we could over hear the conversations in each back yard. Of course in dream world the people that lived in those homes would be people we'd love to interact and play with. I can dream can't I?


I don't know if I really answered this . . . I sort of rambled a bunch of my thoughts.  Reminds me of the children's book -- City Mouse, Country Mouse. If I know you Heidi, you will thrive in the country or a neighborhood. You strike me as one that makes relationships a priority and so it will happen.  You'll be intentional and you just might find that having your "space" out in the country will rejuvenate you to be around people more. 

Anyone else have any advice on this?? I know some of you long time country moms could give some great advice!! I could use some advice on it too.  It's always great to get different perspectives.  Which do you prefer . . . country life? neighborhood life?

January

The house is quiet.
Four kids in bed - hopefully sleeping.
It's been 10 minutes since any one has said, "Mom I need . . . "
I think it's safe now for me to start something.
I'm only irritated with their need for me once I've started something.
If I'd just stand in the hallway for the first 10 minutes and wait for their call it wouldn't bug me in the least.
Back to the quiet house.
Jas is in the dungeon deep in some seminary book.
I'm tired but feel like journaling.
I've missed it lately, just been to busy.
I may journal on several different topics tonight.
I do that - I don't always post what I write the same day.
(You can schedule your blogs to post whenever or you can just let them sit as drafts and not post them at all.)
Tonight I'm thinking about JANUARY.
What does January do to you?
When we used to live so far from any type of family January was a sad month because of all the  goodbyes to family.
That's easier now.
It also makes me a little psycho on wanting to clear out stuff - declutter.
I haven't been able to do that but I have the itch.
I'm thinking this year it will be February.
It also makes me think about all the ideas we thought of before Christmas on how to give to others well and how to not have such a materialistic outlook -- how can we keep that going? How can we keep that spirit of giving to those in need go beyond December?
I'm sure it's all the talk of New Years Resolutions, but I constantly find myself in January thinking about goals and where I want to be heading in different areas of my life.
My marriage . . .
Parenting . . . .
Spiritual Disciplines . . .
Finances . . .
Friendships . . .
The other feeling I have in January quite often is exhaustion.
Kids are hyper from cold weather.
Mornings are dark.
I just want to curl up and read a book or watch a dumb show.
How about you?
What do you feel in January?

New Look

It's a new look for my blog.
I mentioned it in an earlier post . .  I won a blog makeover from Blessed Little Nest!!!
She gave me a fresh new look for the New Year.
If you put "buttons" on your blog, you can grab my new "button" on the side.
I've been wanting to change the name of my blog for the past year and I thought now would be the perfect time.
Here's the story behind the name . . .  (You can read it anytime in the link above called "Noodle Story?")
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Have you ever looked at a bowl of noodles?

They are all intertwined.

All tangled up.

All connected.

Not one noodle lays off by it's self.

That's my head!!

Thousands of thoughts.

Everything I do and everything that I am is connected!

I am a girl, a wife, a mom, a women pursued by God, a women pursing Him in return,  a person of passion, a pastor's wife (well - currently seminary student) , a former teacher,  a learner and someone that wants to celebrate the gift of life everyday!

I don't go anywhere without my bowl of noodles - I carry around my passions, my joys, my disappointments, my love, and my frustrations.

Sometimes I wish I could pull out a strand and set in on the shelf for awhile - not care about something or simmer down a deep desire but those noodles are so entwined.

In comparison did you know a guys brain is more like a waffle?

Really - my husband and I researched this years ago when teaching a highschool class on the differences between boys and girls.

A waffle is made up of compartments.

Typically guys are able to compartmentalize their life and thoughts.

Work has a compartment. Fathering has a compartment and so on.

That's why your man isn't thinking about the dishes in the sink when he's trying to go to sleep.

My man actually came up with the name for me. While brainstorming a new blog name I asked him to let me know if he had any ideas. He instantly looked at me and said, "I got one for you. A HEAD FULL OF NOODLES."  I loved it because of the truth it speaks of me and because it's exactly what this blog has become.

This blog started off as "Nic's Days - Everyday is an Adventure" but has become a reflection of my HEAD FULL OF  NOODLES. This has become a place for me to process my "noodles".  Unlike many other blogs this blog doesn't have a central focus to it; it's not just for mothers, just a recipe blog, or just a ministry blog.  You get the whole bowl of noodles!! You never know what strand of noodle you will get when you stop by.

WELCOME to my HEAD FULL OF NOODLES! I hope you find a few noodles you can relate to or at least get a good laugh out of them!

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Well, that's it.
It really cracks me up when I think back to when I started blogging.
My friend Heather kept telling me I really needed to blog.
Her blog was so fun -  I didn't think I could do that.
She held my hand and walked me through it.
I figured it would be a great way to keep showing pics to all the family we lived so far away from.
Now - 3 years later -  I love it.
I love how I've gotten to "know" other bloggers.
I'm encouraged by them, touched by them, and challenged by them.
I love how it feeds a creativity within me.
I love how it makes me see what I'm doing each day and enjoy it.
I love how I can share with you the daily ups and downs that we all struggle with.
I hope as I share about all the random "noodles" in my head that you will be encouraged in your life and that you will be challenged to enjoy the day you've been given!
(Even if your day is a -22 windchill. That's our reality today!)

I Said I Would Tell You . . .

I posted this picture one day on a "Friday's Five".

I told you someday I might tell you the story.
I decided I'd tell you.

2006 February
Golden Gate Bridge
Running
By now in life, my body had given birth twice.
We had survived the first year of twins - that's the year everyone told us was just "survival".
I'd agree.
Ian was now 3 and a half and the twins were 1 and a half.

I had taken Jason on a 30th b-day surprise trip.
Like really a surprise . . . picked him up from a weekend Jr. High mission trip he was on and he thought we were going out to celebrate his birthday.
We did - we drove to the airport.
He unscrambled the letters to determine our destination and away we went for a few days.
No diapers in our suitcases.

Fast forward on that trip . . . .
We were on the Golden Gate Bridge and started to run.

We kept running and it became surreal to me.
I opened my mouth and said to Jason something that has stuck with me since the moment I said it,
"I feel so ALIVE in my body."
It was a physical feeling, a mental feeling, and a spiritual feeling.
Just the month before I had come very close to a weight goal I had set for myself after the twins.
He knew what I meant.
He knew that after all my body had been through, after all the lack of sleep, I felt full of energy again.
In that same moment I had a secret I had not told him yet.
I was planning to tell him at dinner.
I knew the physical "alive" part of the feeling I felt on the bridge was going to once again leave.
I was expecting baby number 4.
A planned baby number 4 I should say.

The energy did leave me.
It stayed gone for a long time.
Looking back now I'm sure I experienced some post partum depression following her birth.
I probably did after the twins too - but who would have known the difference between the sleep deprivation and depression. :))
One day, about 9 months after Tatum was born, I put to words what I wanted.
I didn't want a perfect body.
I didn't want to keep myself from yummy, delicious food.
I didn't want to be the girl that barely eats because she wants to be a certain size.
I didn't want to be obsessed by exercise or controlling what I was eating.
I didn't want to see a certain number on the scale.
I wanted what I felt on that bridge.

I wanted ENERGY.
I wanted to feel ALIVE in my body.
I wanted to be healthy.
I asked myself what I thought I needed to achieve that.
How could I feel alive when I was tired - four kids in four years - ministry - moving - etc. etc. etc.
Every one's body is different, but I believed it was a balance of several things that would bring me to that place again.
SLEEP - VITAMINS - EXERCISE - HEALTHY FOOD
I've looked at this paper every day since that day.
After this past year I've decided their should be another thing added to it.
DEAL WITH YOUR STUFF
You know . . . . stress, anger, unforgiveness, anxiety, worry . . . . whatever it is.
Since round one of getting healthy again (this was round 2) I had packed on some "stuff" and my body wasn't going to respond to my running, walking, fruit eating life without me dealing with my stuff.
Fast forward again . . . 2010.
2010 is the year I can say I finally started to feel healthy again.
I love looking at this pink sheet.
It reminds me to process what's out of whack when I'm out of energy.
I think I'll keep it their forever reminding me of the day I jogged across the Golden Gate Bridge taking in air and literally feeling ALIVE in my body.
This body is a gift.
I will never weigh what I did on my wedding day.
I will never wear my prom dress again (who the heck would wear that thing?).
I will always have "beauty scars" reminding me of precious lives this body has carried.
But in THIS body I can be healthy, have energy, and FEEL ALIVE.
Thanks 2010 for a year of a road back to "health".

Tree

The glow of the Christmas Tree calms me.

I love it in the early morning and in the dark of night.

It reminds me that this busy season is about PEACE that came wrapped in a baby!

Luke 2:10

"I bring you good news of great JOY that will be for all the people."

Happy Thanksgiving

Happy Thanksgiving.

So many things to be thankful for . . . .
This week I'm especially thankful for a Creative God.
This past week I've asked God for some very specific things.
I knew he'd take care of them.
I knew He might not give me what I asked for but He'd give me what I needed.
I had some ideas of how He might do it.
I thought about how He handled some of these things in my life in the past.
But He didn't use any of the ways He had before.
He was creative.
I could tell you some of the circumstances but to you, you would see them as coincidences.
But to me, knowing what my exact prayers were, I knew it was Him - again and again.
I'm thankful He provides.
I'm thankful He is creative.
Not only does He take care of my needs but He does it in ways that have me looking for Him.
Each time I wanted to say, "That is SO God."

Look for evidence of Him showing Himself to you this week.
Be thankful for a Creative God!

My Thoughts on the Upcoming Season

It's late.

I should be in bed.

I should be answering the call of my clean laundry pile.

But instead I'm going to journal some thoughts.

I've had the desire to journal a lot lately but haven't had the quiet space or time to do it.

So I sit here now deciding to journal and then turn off my light.

Have you made any Christmas lists?

Started shopping?

Set dates for Family Get Togethers'?

I'm sure you've done something to prepare for one of the two holidays coming up - even if it's just in your mind still.

I know we haven't had Thanksgiving yet - that's one of my favorite holidays.

It's the best prelude to Christmas.

There is always so much talk this time of year on giving, on consumerism and on how we celebrate Christmas.

You've maybe heard of Advent Conspiracy.

It's been around since 2006 - came out of a church in Oregon.

Their message is . . . Worship Fully, Spend Less, Give More, Love All.

Love it.

Our church is going through their videos.

Each year it has me thinking.

It's challenging.

Some people get upset that we start planning and preparing for Christmas so early or that we start listening to Christmas songs to early or that we do to much during this season.

I guess I look at it a little differently.

We celebrate our kids birthdays big - we plan ahead - we think of things that would make them feel special - we might pick a theme - we find gifts they'll like - we don't have to spend a lot but we do celebrate big.

So why wouldn't I celebrate Jesus' birthday big?

He came for me.

He's the one I claim to follow.

I think the question we just have to keep asking is HOW do I celebrate His birth?

For our kids we think about what THEY would like?

For Jesus we need to think about what HE would like?

Think about your purposes as a follower of Him.

Love Him - Love Your Neighbor - Love Others - Love the Poor and Needy - We are made for Relationships - We are supposed to bring Him Glory.

I think that sums it up.

Wouldn't it be best to celebrate Him by living out those purposes?

Our traditions and culture make it all messy.

I'm FAR from celebrating Christmas the best way.

But I wrestle with it.

I don't like the guilt messages that we hear this time of year.

Some say we go overboard by putting up Christmas lights, or shopping to early, or making our schedules to full.

Don't you think this is a question we can't answer for one another?

We have to ask it for ourselves.

For example some say we shouldn't buy gifts - we need to go simple and make them.

For one person that could save some money and it could bring a very meaningful gift to someone and bring joy to the person that made it.

For the other person it could bring more stress to them and it could actually cost as much or more than purchasing one.

For one person decorating their house fills them with joy for Christ's birth.

For the other person it's just something they have to do because they always have.

I started to think about how we do Christmas at our house and how this fits into all of my thoughts on consumerism and our American way of Christmas.

Here's what came to mind that we do each year . . .

We try to reduce spending more and more each year. We do that different every year. Some years more drastic than others.

We contain the shopping into a time frame. This helps me. It helps me save but even more so it helps me spend more of my season on Him instead of having a head full of lists and thinking about stuff to buy.

We look for new traditions/activities that point to Him.

We look for Him in things we already are doing in celebrating. Last year I gave away a book that gives you ideas on this. (Here's the link to that post.)

We simplify.

We say NO to things we are doing just because it's Christmas and we think we are supposed to do it.

We create space to build relationships.

We pick ways to give - financially, relationally, and with our time.

We try to do some quieter more intimate things to celebrate (reading the Christmas Story by candlelight) and we try to do some BIG ACTIVE things to celebrate (Putting up Xmas lights and remembering that He came to be the light of the world and we are a light in this world.)

It's different for us all.

Some of us should add to HOW we celebrate.

Some of us should say no to some things we do to celebrate.

Some of us just need to think about WHY we do what we do.

It's more of a heart check this time of year than a list check.

I'm for celebrating BIG.

Sometimes simple is BIG.

Sometimes big is BIG.

But just ask yourself HOW?

So let me ask you, to ask yourself:

If you are a believer how will you celebrate and focus on Christ this season?

Don't compare.

Just ask yourself.

Refreshing

This time of year I miss Utah.

It's partially the weather, it's partially the nostalgic memories of all the hiking and outdoor time we spent as a family, it's partially the purpose we felt we had there, it's partially the connectedness we had with our friends, and it's partially the unplanned hanging out with neighbors in the evening - I miss all of it.

It's crazy - we've been here a little over a year.

We've already created some memories here that we will miss one day too.

But this weekend I set out to fill that place in my heart that really wanted to get in my car and drive west.

The kids and I headed to a park on Saturday and just played.  

The weather, the little paths we found, the day reminded me of times in Utah.

Then Sunday we had a great day as a family at a pumpkin patch.

We were two minutes from an amazing patch in Utah and so again nostalgic thoughts were in our head.

The twins were in their "twin element" - just meaning they were more of a unit - very sweet to watch.

The views around us were beautiful.

We spent the day as a family - just taking one another in.

This time in our life is so busy . . . harvest . . . seminary . . . life.

We have to fight (not against each other but FOR one another) to make sure we all have what we need in the mist of busyness.

I don't care where you live or what your occupation is and how demanding it is only you can fight for the time your family needs to stay whole.

We took the scenic route home from the patch and it was beautiful. 

We were hungry and decided to venture out. 

We saw a roadside burger joint.

We asked a family outside a few blocks over if the place was any good.

The man patted his big belly and said yes!

We took his word for it . . . seriously though would he have told us if it was gross?

It was just us in this place and we ate GOOD!

We could see those burgers cookin.

Couldn't have asked for a better way to end the day.

Kids even said it was better than McDonald's.  

Now you know it's good!

Sometimes I wonder if the kids can read the thoughts in our head too.

While eating Carter said, "I feel like I'm in Utah."

Weird - he must have connected the day to good memories there too.

It's Tuesday and I could already use another day like Sunday but I'm thankful it was a refreshing day.

May your day be refreshed today with memories of a good day, dreams of a another good day coming soon and the energy to make today a good day.

--- If you haven't read my last post with a little Walmart update please do.  I don't want to start any rumors about myself here.  :))