Wednesday, September 1, 2010

A Birthday Card

I got a birthday card in the mail from my youngest brother that had me laughing so hard.
It just brought back a flood of memories.
I laughed so hard the kids all asked what was so funny.
Inside said:  Buy Wine!
(I loved the added touch of my kids names written by each child. This card was perfect for me.)

I have been THAT mom.
Target, Walmart, and Costco all have given me some great mom memories.
Maybe, just maybe, one of you can relate.

I've been "that" mom carrying two kids out (one on each hip) screaming in a full on fit wondering if anybody would think I was kidnapping them.

I've caught "throw up" in my hand in Costco. You can relive that story with me here in one of my first blog posts.

I've sat on the ground holding two toddlers in my lap while they screamed because they had both fallen head first out of a Target cart at the same time. Crazy thing is there really was no horse playing going on. I turned a corner at normal cart pushing speed and that's all it took. They still all remember it. It was pretty traumatic for us all.

I've opened snacks to use to keep the peace and buy me more time only to be reprimanded when I gave the opened container to the lady to pay for it.  (Mom you were with me on this trip weren't you?) It's wasn't a normal practice for me but I wanted to ask the lady how many kids she had and if she ever just needed to do something to help life run smooth for the moment? Of course I didn't say that, instead I said, "Oh I'm sorry."

I've had a screaming van of children only to have all my groceries tumble out of the back of the van. That was a memorable day you can reread here. It's a post that still makes me cry.

I've had too many bloody nose messes to count.  Nothing like looking up in the cart only to see blood just oozing down their face or faces (we couldn't have only one bloody nose now could we) and dripping onto the floor.  (The dry weather in Utah was an adjustment for Carter and Coleson.)

I've packed groceries in, under, on top, around, and any other place I could find in a double stroller.

I've looked down to see a whole in the cracker box where a teething baby had patiently gummed away at it.

I've taken things back into stores that were in my stroller from little toddler hands that were clueless - truthfully I've kept a thing or two also. There were trips I just could not imagine loading everyone back into carts or strollers just to return a .95cents can of peas.

I've had a spinning toy stuck to my daughters hair in the check out aisle.  The cashier was so unhelpful. Tatum was little, the twins got the spinning toy too close to hair, she was screaming and the lady was looking at me like "I'm waiting for you to pay please. Could you pay me first before dealing with your kids issue." I finally cut part of her hair and put that stupid toy back on the shelf, hair and all, right in front of the lady and walked out.

I've left toy aisles with several crying kids. Usually all crying for a different reason.

I've paid for opened Rolos a dozen times. The twins went through this crazy phase when they were two (I think) where they'd open candy bars, mainly Rolos - which they didn't even know what they were - and start eating them. Oh it was so frustrating. It's amazing how fast things can fall apart in the check out lane.

I've looked like the crazy lady too many times in these places.
I know the feeling well.
It's why for years I went shopping at 10 o'clock at night.
It's why I still don't do major shopping now with all four kids.
It's why I don't make the mom of the fit throwing kid feel worse by giving her a glare.
We don't have the same issues now.
Now our biggest challenge is trying to all walk at the same pace so we can stay together.  It always seems like someone stops to gaze at something while the rest of us keep going.  It doesn't take long for Tatum to then 'nice and loud' tell whomever it is to "COME ON!!"
Oh the joys of kids and Walmart!
What stories do you have?

Thanks for the great laugh Matt.


Peg said...

Oh Nicole, I'm laughing so hard right now I'm crying!!!! It's a good thing you have a GREAT sense of humor. And you are a GREAT mom. I can remember a few times when all three of you kids were little and acted up in the store. One was in Sears and y'all crawled under/inside the round clothes rack and it fell over-I think it landed on top of Matt.
Oh the joys of motherhood!!! Love it!

Anonymous said...

So the chronic forgetter-of-cards finally remembers to send one and it makes the blog!? I think that may go to the head! :) Well done, Matt.
Great stories, Nic ... gives me hope that I may just laugh about my new purple couch one day!

Tara said...

I LOVE it! I rarely take all four out, and am notorious for doing the late night shopping. I actually love it (a night owl by nature), as it's just me and the stock boys. When I go earlier in the day, all the folks lumbering around drive me crazy. While my mommy brain can't think of a fun story at the moment, I do think of it as the new normal. Not so normal to e/one else, but.. oh so normal. Thanks for sharing, and happy, happy birthday!

ps. thanks for the chix tips. I figured about as much. It got moved to next week, looking fwd to trying it -- I love your monthly menu list. I've had the idea brewing my head, but haven't pulled it together. It's great to have the template/model.. w/ recipes built in!

domesticjoys said...

Oh my goodness, laughing so hard, I had to read it to my man! Shopping with kiddos is always oh, so fun! Yesterday I just had my 2 little ones for a major costco stock up and I was sweating and anxious by the end. 2 carts and an hour later! But we survived. Love your honesty and humor! Thanks for keeping it real!

Cale and Kim said...

i LOVED this post Nicole!(read it to cale too!) Love your honesty - looks like our adventure is only beginning!

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