NOSTALGIC THOUGHTS!!

I'm sure it's because the twins just turned four this week but I've had so many nostalgic thoughts about life with my twins lately! I was on a friend of a friend's blog, that I check every now and then, because she has twin boys that are now 9 months and she also has two more kids, one Ian's age and another close to Carter and Coleson's age. She did something I WISH I would have done. She's been keeping track of how many times people say to her, "Boy, you have your hands full." She just reached her 100th person. If I think back to my first trips venturing out with the twins and then two year old Ian I can physically remember the emotions and thoughts that would go along with those trips. I wasn't one to just stay home. The first time I went to a mall with my mega stroller I remember feeling like EVERYONE was looking at me and I should start waving. Complete strangers would want to strike up a conversation with me about twins and they'd always say, "You have your hands full." Funny how four years later I'm still hearing that same phrase . . . shoot, I wish I had been tallying that comment! I'm always drawn to other moms with twins. I hope when my kids are older I can give back to a mom with twins like so many mothers have given to me. Where would I be if I didn't have friends during that first year who helped me out in such simple yet very important ways!! You ladies know who you are, THANK YOU!!

My favorite story of someone helping me out was when the twins were just months if not weeks old and I had a day full of errands. I had a friend with me to help out for the day. She had to go home and I had just one more errand to run. I just needed to walk into Dillards, purchase one thing at the make up counter, and then go home. The twins had just nursed so I new I could do it. This was a first for me! I assured my friend I was fine and started into Dillards with my mega stroller and Ian holding my hand. Well, the second we made it through the double doors (which is a big task with the bus of a stroller I was pushing!) Ian let go of my hand and took off running. The twins as if on cue both starting screaming. I tried to push the stroller as fast as I could to catch up with Ian while saying "Ian come back, shhhh babies you're okay." I finally caught Ian because he stopped at a Thomas the Train toy display that he was wanting to show me. I was trying to give the babies pacifiers which they wanted nothing to do with. The screaming was increasing and everyone was looking. The ladies working there asked if they could help me and I told them we were okay but just needed to go to plan B which was to go home without our purchase. At about that time Ian pulled a toy from the display and the display came down. We apologized to the lady and turned the screaming stroller around. I know everyone in that place thought, oh those poor babies sound hungry which I wanted to scream at everyone . . . "I just fed them!" Ian then did what all two year olds do when you leave without a toy . . . he decided to throw a tantrum. I then picked up my screaming two year old and pushed my bus out of the store while smiling at everyone that observed. I'm sure it was only a few people but it felt like I had an Olympic size crowd watching me. As soon as we got out the door I put Ian down and held his hand while walking across the parking lot. With all the adrenaline and emotion inside of me I guess I was walking a little fast,Ian had a hard time keeping up . . . he fell and skinned his knee and the crying started again. I just wanted to get into my van. We got to the van and I put Ian in his seat. The twins were still screaming. I walked to the back of the van and opened the back door to begin loading up our stroller when . . . you guessed it . . . ALL my Walmart grocery bags from the day came falling out!! At that moment two older ladies parked by me came over and said, "Are they twins?" (That's the other comment I should have been counting.) They then said, "you look like you have your hands full, can we help?" I was thinking, "how the heck are you going to help me?" but I said, "I think we're okay, it's just time to go home." I was holding myself together very well on the outside. They ended up being a great help, quieting the twins down some while I cleaned up all my groceries. We thanked the nice ladies and then got into the van. They stayed there until I drove away. That's when the realization hit me, I was at a stage in life where I could NOT go out alone. It was a realization that brought on a flood of tears. I had a 40 minute drive home and I think I cried the whole way. All three boys were quiet then . . . why couldn't they have been quiet during those 20 minutes in the store?? I've always been a do it myself, tackle anything, kind of girl but I had arrived at a new phase of life!! I think back to that now four years later and I still have many challenges raising twin boys, people still think I have my hands full, and I'm sure I still have an audience many times when I'm out and about BUT I wouldn't trade this life for anything. I adore having twins! Some day I'll hug that mom who is out for her first time with twins and tell her "Way to go momma, you made it out of the house!! That alone is success!!"