Monday, May 17, 2010

Fears

Read this post from my friend Meg.
By asking you to go read it first I'm risking that you won't return.
If you don't return that's ok 'cause I know you'll be hanging out at a great place.

This post made me CRY big tears!!
It's such a simple sweet moment but it made me think.
I wish we could handle every fear our kids have this way.

Sit with them.
Walk with them through it.
Block the view so they don't have onlookers.
Whisper encouragement to them ("you can do it honey")
Let them know we can't face the fear for them. ("I don't know your song sweet heart.")
THEN CELEBRATE when they beat the fear ("WOO HOO")
Oh how I want to scream that out loud when I see my kids forge through a fear.

Fears are a difficult thing to handle with your kids.
The spectrum of fears is huge.
Scared of the dark.
Scared of strangers.
Scared of big dogs.
Scared of tornados.
Scared of being alone.
Scared of making new friends.
My twins, the same ones that attack challenges fearlessly, that socially will talk to anyone, that boldly approach new things, also have fears that show themselves in the form of anxiety.
Many people that know them well are even unaware of this.
It goes in phases of VERY intense anxiety to VERY controlled anxiety.
If I have my dates right it started around 3.
Many times one boy feeds off of his brother's anxiety and vice versa.
We've read up on things, we've talked to several experienced moms, we've looked into it being a "twin" issue, we've given them techniques to work on to help them attack their fears, we've brought it up with the Dr. and we've PRAYED and had others pray.
I could try to explain their anxieties but it's not real simple.
What I can tell you is it's REAL, it can be EXHAUSTING and FRUSTRATING, and it BREAKS my HEART for them.

I want to whisper encouragement to them,
let them know I'd handle it for them if I could,
reassure them it will be ok,
and then SHOUT FOR JOY when they succeed!!
It's my prayer that in time they will succeed at overcoming the fears they have and that they too can shout out in celebration!
I love you boys!

Do any of your kids have specific fears? Anxieties?
How do you handle them?
I welcome ideas.

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