"I'm tired from all the processing. My own thoughts are making me tired."
This is what I've said to so many people in the last 48 hours. Some of you are confused right now so I'll catch you up to speed . . . . Jason and I spent 5 days at a Church Planters Assessment where you take part in projects, personality tests, giftedness tests, speaking, interviewing, and meeting with a psychologist. It was a great weekend (full and tiring) but great. The results were all very affirming and positive. Now we are in full swing on deciding our next step. Jason could pursue many different ministry positions that are open in various states but we really think God is directing us to something different . . . .church planting. The questions now are
IN A YEAR?
HOW IN THIS ECONOMY?
We are both spending a lot of time just seeking out God's direction. Here's the thing with God's will . . . . . sometimes God has a direct place or answer for you and other times He says, "Yes, either would be great you decide. Just honor me and we're good!" (That's not a quote from a verse .. . . don't go looking for those exact words in the bible, however, the concept is in there.) We all want security and have to be responsible with our realities but God also calls us to action and to live a life of adventure for HIM - where's the balance in all that? As a mom, planner, and scheduler. . . . I desperately want the plan laid out for me. I've been reading about the Israelites and I keep thinking they had to wander for 40 years; I should really be able to handle my 4 months right?? Well, I'd say we are handling it all very well (one of our psychology tests actually showed we are handling stress currently very well . . .that was encouraging) but that doesn't mean we aren't desperately asking God to show us His plan for us. We experienced many of these same things when we decided to move to Utah so it's not new to us, but understanding God's will and if it's specific in a certain area never becomes easy. So if you've emailed in the last few days and haven't heard back it's not because I'm ignoring you . . . . I've just been at a loss for words (something very different for me). As my brother just said to me on facebook . . . "Turn it off." I laughed and cried when I read it because it's SOOO true. Thanks Jeremy, I'm working on it.