Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Things Don't Always Go As Planned

I don't know what to say.
I don't know what to say.
I've had a million thoughts in my head for a week but haven't figured out how to put
them into words.
Jason and I have been on a journey exploring our options of church planting in Utah County. I've posted some on this before. We've had this desire for awhile and his lay off in January really got us serious about it. So far on this journey we've gone through many "lights" and for many months each intersection brought a green light. We got to our last intersection before starting the official process and we hit a RED light. I could give you a long descriptive explanation of why and what happened but I'll give you the short version. The organizations/ministries that we were working with to support this had to make a tough decision and after processing with Jason out in California last week they decided they can not move forward with church planting in UT. This was not an easy decision for those boards. They felt, and we agree, that in order to increase the chances of a successful plant we would need the support of a "mother church". Our church isn't willing/able to support this right now.
It hasn't been fun processing the "what's next" questions.
The days keep going, kids keep playing, and all the while my head keeps spinning.
I've processed circles around a million different scenarios.
How do you balance realities with passions?
How do you evaluate a situation knowing that God is in control and WILL use us wherever we are and also knowing that God is the one that has put our passions in us?
I could keep going and get all of your minds reeling too.
I know things could be worse.
We have GREAT KIDS!!!
We have EACH OTHER!!
We have HEALTH!!
We have SHELTER!! (for now! ha!)
We have FOOD (we're at my moms)
God does provide!
We've seen God's provision our entire lives so I don't doubt that now BUT just because someone knows they have a long list of things to be thankful for (not long ago I made an actual list of 100 things to be thankful for -- I KNOW I have LOTS to be thankful for) and just because someone knows that God will provide doesn't mean they aren't just plain SAD about their circumstances. There I said it . . . I'm SAD!!!
Maybe my next post will be back to summer fun but for now it's summer sadness!!


Mandy said...

Nicole, I am sad right there with you! This was not the news I was expecting to hear :( It is comforting knowing you will end up where you are meant to be but the sad part of it is that may not include us. I know, how selfish am I. Keep us updated on what's next. If it makes you feel any better, it hailed today and is only 55 degrees!

Becca said...

I don't know what to say either...I'm sad too and praying for you guys!

Heidi said...

Oh Nic, I'm so sorry. We'll keep praying for you on our end.

Monica said...

There isn't much to say that will take away your sadness, but know we are all sad with you and you and your family are very loved!!! We will continue to pray for you and hopefully you will be led where you belong, in God's timing. We love ya! the Wahls

Jamie Meacham said...

Nicole I am so sorry! I am bummed too. I would hate to see you guys not be here coming in the future. Keep us posted on life and your plans. Will pray for you!

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