A Valentine Card

I received a Valentine from my oldest this week that he made in Sunday School.

All gifts from my kids are special

but this one made me cry.

I opened it and had instant tears and thought "wow".

I actually had to sit and just think a bit after reading it.

To you it might just be good words but to me it said, "I am watching, I do notice."

These are the exact words I wrote on a little white board I have in the kids bathroom. 

 They have been there for well over a month now I'd say.

I never read it to them.

I never mentioned it them.

I just randomly put things on it that I think of and hope they'll read.

I sort of forgot about it until I opened his card.

Thanks for noticing Ian.

Thanks for reminding me.

Happy Valentine's.

God IS Love.   ( 1 John 4:8)

Show Love.

Show God.

Be encouraged Moms; they notice.

Best Idea Ever

Best idea ever, I have to share it with you.
It's not my idea.
It's a gift idea for your child.
I'll share the link with you from where I got it but I'm warning you it's a challenging post to read.
Might make you mad - just saying. Click here to read the entire post.

We teach our kids to give in so many ways.
We do it differently all year long.
Two weeks ago we pulled up to a light and a homeless man was sitting there.
It was after school so we had after school snacks with us in the van.
The kids saw him and said, "Mom give him our snacks."
So I rolled down my window and gave him a bag of cheetos, a sunny D drink and a slim jim and said, "These are from my kids." He was appreciative and said "Tell your kids thank you so much."
It was touching to say the least.

Fast forward a week and we were at the same light.
No homeless man.
All of a sudden Coleson popped up quick and said with such enthusiasm, "Mommy that homeless man got a home; he's gone." He was full of so much excitement for that man.
How I wish it was that simple.
It made for a great conversation.

Sorry, I got side tracked.

Here's the idea:
You give your child money as a Christmas gift that they get to GIVE away to someone in need, to someone that Jesus would want them to help.
They get to choose how to do it.
They get to decide where.
How cool is that?
They get to be apart of showing God's love to someone.
I get teary thinking about it.

I love the idea of creating that giving experience for my kids.
I don't know about you but when I give something happens within me and I want them to experience that as much as possible.

I don't know how we'll do it yet or how much.
You could do $10 or $100.
You could warn them ahead of time that the gift they are about to open is a gift they will give away.
You could let them brainstorm places they'd want to give the money too.
We (I) might be surprised what they think of.
They might respond sort of weird because it's a unique gift; not like the normal gift.

I LOVE giving gifts so this gift has me so excited and anticipating Christmas.

How do you teach your kids to give?
I'd love to hear ideas.

World Changers

We just might have a few world changers in this house.
Last night we had a spontaneous teaching moment.
The kids found the magazines on the counter from World Vision and Samaritan's Purse.
The ones where you can choose an item to purchase to help someone in poverty.
We've purchased things before- they are familiar with the catalogs.
Carter said, "Let me see those."
We started talking about what we should choose.
They have a huge jar of pennies from my parents and decided we'd use that for it and then they all decided they'd chip in from their piggy banks.
The exact amount they'd each chip in was up for grabs and everyone had a thought.
I stayed out of this part of it.
I like to hear them wrestle with themselves.
I also like it to be their idea.
Whether a little or a lot you can see the wrestling.
You can see the desire.
Sounds a lot like myself.
We started looking through the catalogs and they were asking about certain items.
The two that they got stuck on the most were mosquito nets and a share in helping a child with an airline ticket that will save their life.
I told them how many pennies they had in the jar and the boys figured out that if they all added $2 to it that they could get two mosquito nets.
They liked this.
Then Tatum chimed in . . . .
"If we gather all our money we can get them stuff so they can go to the places they need to go to like a hotel."
She kept going (she's using her hands the whole time), "We should get some money and gather it together so we could buy them a sink and then get a bunch of wood so we could build them a kitchen and a fridge. They could get some cold air and put it in the fridge then. That would be awesome for them."
The entire time she had such passion in her voice.
She had the look of "I'm gonna change the world"
We talked about how rich we are in this world.
They made so many comments I wish I could remember.
Somehow we went from that conversation to orphanages (a conversation we've had several times now this last month) and I told them about a little child I held all day from an orphanage in Mexico when I was in high school. I told them that somewhere I had a picture of me and that child.
They wanted me to find the picture so we could put it on the fridge.

They started getting artsy on me and saying we could make a big board or poster about homeless people or poor people.
Tatum said she was going to put the bulletin board in her room.
Then Ian took our chalkboard frame down and said, "Can I erase this and put a verse on there about orphans?"
Me:  "Yes."
So we found two verses and he did that.

I found this interesting because the verse we've been looking at on this sign for many many months was, "May the words of my mouth and the meditations of my heart be pleasing in your sight oh Lord."
We don't have the concept down yet.
I'm still struggling with it.
I keep wondering when our family will get this down.
But then the thought hit me tonight.
Maybe if we focus on these new verses "take care of the poor" and "help the orphans in their distress" our words and meditations might naturally become more pleasing.
Does that make sense to anyone but me?

I love how Ian misspelled the word poor. I left it because that's what we are supposed to do - "pour ourselves out for the poor."

This is also in our bathroom now.

A couple Sundays ago was Orphan Sunday.
I was tipped off to it by a blog I follow.
We participated in a simple way by eating an "orphan" meal as a family (white rice plain out of one bowl, passing it around) and talking about orphans and praying for them.
Carter got up in the middle of that and brought me the sign from the bathroom that usually says "Wash those grubby hands. Love Mommy" and thought I should write "Take Care of Orphans" on it instead.
So I did.

So now I'm surrounded by these verses -- in my kids handwriting.
Hmmm.

I don't tell you all this to say "look at my kids, look at my family".
We're a normal American family doing normal American family things.
Please don't hear me say "look at us."
I tell you this because this week I have spent more physical time and more mental time thinking about money and our finances than I care to ever admit.
It's embarrassing.
It's challenging.
It's frustrating.

We. . . . have . . . . so . . . . much.
As I said very little while my kids were talking amongst themselves, making plans about their money tonight I just watched their faces.
Intense.
Serious.
Thinking.
I want their intense, serious, thinking faces when it comes to these things.
It's the time of year when the opportunities are EVERYWHERE.
It's always bugged me that we focus on it more now instead of all year.
But we do & it's still good.

I don't know what all is in store for my children's future.
Or mine really.
I just know that these world changing kids are changing my world just by listening to their child like faith.
Grab you some child like faith, engage your child and see what they teach you this season.

From my Heart

Journaling from my heart.
This morning I went to church with my kids while my man preached somewhere else.
I didn't go with a good heart.
I went with a tired heart, frustrated and just sick of some things.
I gave me kids some speeches on how to behave because I was tired and didn't want to deal with some of the things that can happen with kids in church.
Before church started a lady that had at least 3x the mothering years on me initiated a conversation.
Unbeknown to her she struck a cord in me - a mothering cord.
She struck a place that I've been wrestling with for awhile now.
Her words were few, but so challenging and really encouraging all at the same time.

Lately I've been feeling like my family is getting the left over part of me.
I give my patience to my preschoolers.
I give my passion for the hurting and those in need to my bible study group.
I give me compassionate words to any friend that needs to be encouraged.
I give my creativity to preschool and creating another great women's retreat.
And I give my mad organizational skills and attention to detail to everything I have my hand in.
But at home I'm impatient, my words are short and organization what?
I'm just tired.
I know God wants me to use my gifts and talents outside of my home - whether you work outside of the home or stay home full time your gifts/talents/love aren't just for the number of people in your family, however He also wants those gifts and talents to reach those within my walls.
I'm one of the primary people demonstrating those things to them.
I want my children to see the fruits of the spirit in ME.
Authenticity means everything to me.
If my children see me pouring life into other things or people yet don't see that within our home what does that teach?
The 12+ years of youth ministry that Jason and I participated in left me knowing one thing for sure . . . youth are onto their parents game when they act one way at home and another out and about.
That shapes their view of God, their view of living a life for God.
Now I'm one to take it to the extreme and I'm hardest on myself so I know that things aren't as bad as I'm painting the picture out to be.
Yes I've demonstrated extreme love to my children this week, yes I've used some of those great skills that I use outside of the home within my home so I'm not looking for a "you're a good mom speech", I'm just saying that in general I feel like everyone else is getting the best of me.
I'm just wrestling with the balance of a full life.
Anyone else?
I'm rereading a book on the Holy Spirit and I feel if there is any place in my life where I need to see the Holy Spirit's power revealed in me it's with my family.
I need patience, peace, kindness, goodness, self control, joy, gentleness, and love in my daily at home stuff.

I hope I didn't share too much or make some of you feel awkward.
I'm just saying how it is.
It's probably a safe bet to say that some of you are wrestling with how to balance a full life?
How to not give those I love the most my left overs?
I'm not really leaving you with answers, just thoughts.
Maybe these thoughts will stir up a conversation between yourself and God.

Let's wrap up this whole "journaling from my heart" post with something I did use my creativity for at home this week.
Actually today.
With several days of kids picking on each other and pestering each other I decided they needed to spend sometime together getting along doing something constructive.
So I gave them each a partner and a job they had to complete together.
If they completed the job without bossing each other, teasing each other, or just being rude to each other in general they would not be given another job.
If they did boss, tease, or be rude to one another while completing the job together they'd receive another job until they could do one together nicely.
Unfortunately  Fortunately they all accomplished this on the first try.
Now what do I do with that long list of jobs that still need to be done?

I guess I've save a little bit of creativity for my own family.
Now if I could work on saving some of those other skills. :))

Happy MLK Day!

The other day the boys were all talking about Martin Luther King Jr.
They were sharing with each other the things they had learned in school.
It was interesting to listen to them.
After listening for awhile I asked, "Does anyone know what his famous speech was?"
They didn't know so I said, "It goes; I . . .  (and I paused thinking this would trigger the answer)."
Instantly they all had an answer to finish my sentence.
They weren't being silly - they were genuine guesses.
Carter said, "I . . . am tired."
Coleson said, "I . . . have had enough. "
Ian said, "I . . . . object."
Obviously, they hadn't covered the "I had a dream" speech in school.
I just laughed because really all three of their sentences could have been thoughts Martin Luther King Jr. could have thought.  He had to be tired of what he was seeing in his time.  I'm sure he had had enough of it and obviously he objected to it.
It got me thinking about what he really did say . . . "I have a dream ..."
I hope my kids all have a dream.
I hope they dream of something that will influence the world.
Influence the lives of others.
I'm sure they'll get tired. It's hard work to have big dreams.
I'm sure they'll come to a point where they say "I've had enough." I hope they rely on God to push through.
I'm sure they'll encounter obstacles with their dreams that are plain wrong - I hope they'll object to the wrong and keep moving on.
I have a dream for my kids to have a dream!
Happy MLK Day!

Feeling the Weight

Somedays I feel the weight of all that sits on our shoulders as mom and dad.
So much to teach.
So much to model.
Right now in life I feel this most as I raise 3 boys.
Eventually the weight of the girl world will come too.
As I look at my three boys I am reminded every day that I am not raising boys I am raising men!
I'm raising someone's husband.
Someone's daddy.
Someone's friend.
It's not so simple.
Be brave and courageous but don't do something stupid.
Stand up for others but don't be a bully.
Put others first but don't let others take advantage of you.
You are special but so is everyone else.
Laugh a lot and have fun but only when it's appropriate.
Be a leader but lead in a good way.
Be affectionate and show love but respect a person's personal space.
Work hard but play hard.
Have good table manners even though it's not natural for your world.
Be proud of yourself but don't be prideful.
Girls don't have cooties, you can play with them and have fun with them but you don't say this, or that, or this to girls.
Obey and respect adults unless they are doing something that isn't right.
Communicate what you are thinking or how you feel but be kind.
Use self control but other times act on how you feel.
Be honest but be nice.
Some things are only okay around boys.
Be strong and don't whine, but admit your pain.
Share your opinion but don't dominate the conversation.
This is appropriate here and this isn't appropriate there.
Be yourself but again this is appropriate here and this isn't appropriate there.
Don't worry about what others think but be a good example because someone is always watching you.
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

It's a big task.
Each time my boys have to learn a lesson, or they become aware of something, or a new reality of the world is shown to them, or a piece of their innocence is lost I find myself feeling one of two things (depending on the type of lesson or awareness).
I feel sad that they have to learn that lesson or become aware of that part of the world.
OR
I feel proud that they have learned a lesson or understood something that will make them a better man many years down the road.
I'm honored God has entrusted us with three boys.
In all that they have to learn I find myself thankful EVERY day for the role model they have in their daddy and that he is striving to follow our ultimate role model; Christ himself.

I love you boys.

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Proverbs: 23:15,16,19

My son(s), if your heart is wise, then my heart will be glad; my inmost being will rejoice when your lips speak what is right. Listen, my son(s) and be wise, and keep your heart on the right path.

Proverbs 6:20-24

My son(s), keep your father's command and do not forsake your mother's teaching. Bind them always on your heart: fasten them around your neck. When you walk, they will guide you; when you sleep, they will watch over you; when you awake, they will speak to you. For this command is a lamp, this teaching is a light, and correction and instruction are the way to life.